I know. It seems like a weird title for an article, right? I mean, duh. Everyone knows how to be themselves, right? Well, not really. The truth of the matter is–if no one is looking–many of us have trouble not only BEING ourselves, but in actually KNOWING who it is that we really are. Crazy, but true!
Don’t filter yourself through the sieve of perceived expectations, idealizations, repudiations. Be yourself #dotjenna
Now, I know what you’re thinking. What in the heck does “being yourself,” have to do with marketing your business with social media? Funny, but it has EVERYTHING to do with marketing yourself. You see, the web has a built-in BS detector (Seth Godin), and those in your target market expect complete authenticity–nothing less will do. One of the fastest routes to success as a small business marketer, is to use yourself, the genuine article, to attract, captivate and convert people by persuading them to use your services, or otherwise buy from you. It’s fast and easy, for some of us. Others have a difficult time taking off their masks and sharing who they really are to the world.
Go into your heart and scoop out a little truth, whatever is real, your own, alive and authentic. Share that. #dotjenna
So what do you do? I’ll tell you. I’ve spent my entire life trying to A. Figure out who I am; and B. Be the person I was created to be. This article is my attempt to share with you some of the things that I have learned along the way. I hope it helps you in your journey, and that it increases not only your marketing efforts, but other areas of your life as well.
Want to shock people? Be yourself. ~ dotJenna
Your brain is constantly talking, repeating to you everything you were told or taught both directly and indirectly from the day you were born until now. Every facial expression, every let-down, every win, every loss is all recorded in your psyche. Today, these messages of who you are supposed to be are repeated to you as you go about your day. These messages are what psychologists call, “self-talk.”
Self-talk can either take you to the top, or keep you glued to the bottom. If we listen to our thoughts, most of us can find errors in our thinking and what we’re repeatedly saying to ourselves. It’s important to know that YOU are in charge of your thoughts, and you have the ability to change any of your thoughts at any moment. This may be hard for you to believe; you may be in a habit of thinking a certain way, but the reality is that each of us is in complete control of our thoughts. It’s up to us as adults to challenge the messages we’ve heard and replace them with the truth, deep, down-inside, at the center of who we are.
This revelation set me free on many levels. There were some messages that were wrongly given, others that were misconstrued by me, others that were flat-out lies that I had received into my psyche. These messages were repeating through my day, infiltrated into my life, effecting my reactions, actions, confidence and achievements. I started listening carefully many years ago, even recording messages that were a struggle for me to understand. Today, I’m a pro at hearing messages that are not part of who I really am, or that are part of my self-make-up. Since I know how to listen for them, it’s easier for me to change them and replace the wrong thoughts with truth.
When you listen to the messages that are deep in your heart, you can start to unravel some of the ways that you’re being held back by people, situations and scenarios of your past. You may find that you were told when you were little not to run in the house, and that stern warning scared you when you were a child. Today, you may choose not to run, because little-do-you-realize, you have a little voice in your head saying, “Don’t run!” These types of messages are all throughout our mental make-up, and it’s imperative that you replace these thoughts with better, truthful and more affirming thoughts that more accurately reflect who you really are as a person.
At the end of the day, your plastic persona will melt away. Only true fire remains… One tested in trials–strong and fearless. Real.
This may sound cliche, but it’s necessary for every mature grown-up on this planet to figure out just who they are, IF he or she wants to live a full, authenticated life. So many of us go through life, laden with the expectations of others, and we (if we’re lucky) wake up one day to find that we’re living false lives that have no meaning. The person, or people we’ve been living for, lose their hold on us. This is similar to finding that you’ve climbed the wrong ladder. The most important life for you to live, is your very own. No one else can live it but you.
Finding yourself means to dig through the tunnels of your own mind and heart, and figure out what is really you, and what attitudes, thoughts and preferences were handed to you by some outside person, place or thing. This process takes commitment because it doesn’t come to light over-night. But if you will stop, listen to what your heart is telling you, you will
This step requires jounaling. Journal everything. I have 25 journals going round at any given time. (I know, I’m weird!) Anytime I feel myself stuck on an issue, or not clear about anything that is in my mind or heart, I stop and take time to deal with it until it is resolved. There are some things I’ve been working on for years, but there is nothing that I’ve worked on that I haven’t found the answer inside myself. I journal every problem that I face, and then I return years later and gain valuable insight to current problems, just looking at how I dealt with yesterday’s issues. Journaling your thoughts about who you really are is a great way to get down on paper some of the struggles that are keeping you tied to the sidelines.
Who you are will unfold before you in numerous ways. It won’t just be epiphanies over your notepad. If you tune into life around you, you will find messages about who you are and who you are supposed to be in songs, poems, nature, prayers, friends and movies. Everything you are exposed to has a message for you in some way. Everything you encounter enlightens you to the true you that you’re created to be, if only you will stop and take time to listen.
Life is made up of feelings. If you want to come to life on the web, infuse FEELING into everything you say, write or do online. #dotjenna
It is my belief that were were created by God. It’s not a stretch for most of us to believe in–at least–a power greater than themselves, even if you don’t believe in the God of Christianity. This is an important aspect of finding yourself. You can’t see yourself clearly if you don’t have faith to believe in something bigger than you. It’s like trying to see yourself through a tiny pin-hole, when you’re trying to do it in your own strength. When you hand your life over to God, and admit that you need help, it’s amazing what this does to your vision. You can see for miles and miles, whereas before you had blinders on.
I love the Lord of the Bible–straight Bible. I believe in this God and this belief has propelled me to new heights I would never have reached without Him. I can’t tell you the difference that accepting and knowing God has made in my life. The benefits have been astronomical, and I could write for 100 years and never finish the value of having God in my life. Yes, it’s THAT important. It’s paramount. Numero uno.
Knowing God has given me the strength and the courage to dive deep into the caves of my own heart, to pull out treasures that are hidden there. Going there alone would have been impossible. When I set-out to search my own soul, I start out with a prayer, that God would show me the truth. That He would guide me and show me the errors in my own thinking that are causing me to sabotage myself, or that hinders me from being the me that He created me to be. You’d be amazed at the revelation that comes from submitting your heart to God, laying your life on the operating table and letting God do surgery. Just you and Him. This doesn’t take a village or an audience… He will take you alone into the depths, to heal you in ways you didn’t even know you need, until after it’s already fixed.
Toss your processed, cookie cutter persona. It may attract, but will never captivate. #dotjenna
One of the most valuable lessons I learned was how to be assertive. Many of us are raised to obey and be submissive. Parents don’t always know how to guide us in ways that would make us strong and confident. That’s okay, because as adults, we have the ability to fix every wrong, every generational curse, and every oversight of our upbringing. We are the only animal on earth that is conscious of being alive. We have equipment in our hearts to self-repair our own wounds. We can choose to stay young, weak and submissive, or we can choose to grow and become strong, courageous, powerful and assertive.
I literally took assertiveness training (I got it on the internet). I had to figure out just who I was, what I had a right to expect, and what part of me did I own. The training was fabulous, as I learned that in many ways I’d been pushed around, and others had gotten the best of me, simply because I didn’t understand my rights as a person on this planet. Being assertive is about understanding your inherent worth as a person on this planet. Knowing, perhaps for the first time in your life, that you are equal to every other person, and that no one is higher than you. All of these very important bits of information help you to stand-up-for-yourself against people who would try to mold you into being something that you don’t want to be. When you’re assertive in your heart, because you know who you are, you’re also able to stand up against the voices that are inside your head, holding you back, keeping you down.
Keep your own counsel by reaching your own decisions and following through with them. ~ Napoleon Hill “Think & Grow Rich”
I’m not saying that you be selfish and neglect your family, or that you neglect God. NOT AT ALL. I am saying that you must learn to hear your own preferences clearly. Do whatever it takes to know who you are and what you want for yourself. Some things that you want do not mesh with your environment, and those things may have to be compromised. Example: say you’re a 50 year old man and you want to ride a Harley around the world, but you have young kids at home who need you. It would be selfish and horrible to leave your family to pursue your dream. There is no time when your dream should come before the most important things in your life.
What I am saying is that you honor yourself. So many of us put everyone ahead of ourselves, trying to keep up with the Jones’, we work like a dog only to be empty and dissatisfied later. Or we may push our desires to write or paint or sing while we help our family members pursue their visions. It’s important that we remember ourselves when doling out energy. We must make room for those things within us that make us special and unique, and that fulfill our purpose. Those things inside that we truly long to do–whatever it is–we must make time to do them and pursue them.
Whatever we have to do to become who we were created to be, we have to prepare. I was called to be a writer and a speaker, and even though I was making great money and had much going for me, I left it all behind to pursue my purpose. I don’t want to be at the end of my life not having at least TRIED. Leaving my comfort zone was very tough, but I had to give it a whirl. I had to walk out on the water and see if I would drown. Turns out, you’re reading the fruit of my decision to be true to my calling. I hope you enjoy it! There is nothing that compares to the feeling of flowing in your gifts as a whole person, fully aware of who you are and what God has called you to be.
Don’t hide your imperfections. We can’t connect with a mannequin. Perfect people are perfectly uninteresting. #dotjenna
You see, this article is tremendously beneficial for you in marketing yourself online because your audience wants to see a whole human being operating in power and confidence. It is this type of person–a whole and complete person–who knows who he or she is, and knows what he or she wants that is most inspiring and influential to the world. It is a rare person indeed who has left the safety of the nest, and ventured out to the wide blue skies of truly living, apart from pleasing others, apart from the negative voices, apart from prejudices and self-doubt. It is in this place of knowing who we are, of trusting God to light the way, and in operating in that which we know that we can truly soar.
May God be with you on your journey.
People flock to you when you are positive and inspiring because you’re giving hope and encouraging them to overcome obstacles. #dotjenna
I have found that when I post positive messages I get more feedback (likes & comments) than when I post about social media. This tells me that my audience prefers to receive positive messages from me. I give my audience what it wants… Try it. Start scooping out some of the positive truths you hold in your heart and sharing it with your network. You will see an instant improvement in your engagement, and you will begin to make true fans. That’s what I’m talking about!!!
We all have this gift… it’s just that many of us are walking automatons. We don’t even know what we truly think, feel and know in our own hearts. It’s my goal to help you to dig deep into your own heart and share from the realness of who you are. The stuff that helped you grow to where you are will help others grow too. Like Hansel & Gretal leaving crumbs on the pathway. This is what being a leader is all about.
A stupid Twitter bot had the nerve to try to converse with me yesterday. Of course, it responded wrongly. It tried to pick up keywords.Have you ever met a Twitter bot person? They don’t listen; use pat responses that are offline because they’re too consumed with their own image to be open to listen or to share.
Don’t be a robot. Be real. Really feel. Really listen, really share.
